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Creating Life-Like Characters

Published in The Ready Writer E-Zine, July 2010 By Vicki McCollum (c) 2010

We know that research yields vivid, concrete details that bring our characters and their settings to life and enrich our plots. However, the editorial task of sorting through the piles of objects, images, and textures arrives where we select only the most meaningful and significant details for our characters. This process deepens our writing and hints at our character’s moral complexities, hopes and dreams, and even fears. By selecting the right details, we create rounder, life-like characters, instead of flat stereotypes.

If we neglect this step, the overflow of information will confuse readers rather than present vivid, life-like characters. The result is that nothing stands out as particularly meaningful to the character. For example, I developed this list of details while researching my novel’s setting: the Upper French Louisiana in the late 1700's. I chose details for my character that I hoped would reveal not only her socio-economic status, but also her hopes, dreams, and fears:

Two pair of ladies slippers lay on the plank flooring under her bed. One pair with hard leather soles, made in New Orleans, and the other, soft-soled, intricately beaded moccasins. Opposite her bed stood a large chest filled with woolen bedding, linens, a silk purse, a pair of gloves, and a small, silver-framed portrait. A gilt-handle mirror hung from the rough plastered wall behind the chest.

As you can see, these details add nothing to either character or plot. Instead, I’ve unloaded my details in what’s called an “information dump.” However, if I allow my character to interact with her possessions, then perhaps the items will add meaning and complexity to her life. The next example shows the Celeste and her nurse-midwife interacting with details selected for their significance to my character’s life: 

Celeste awoke. She motioned to an old chest in the far corner of the room, the chest where she stored her finery. It held her silk purse, white leather gloves, and the silver- framed portrait of herself that Philippe had commissioned in New Orleans, only two years earlier—his wedding present to her. “Find the valise and hide it from Madame, please.” The woman, her midwife, rummaged through Celeste’s clothing—a crimson dressing gown, a taffeta petticoat, all that was left of Celeste’s beauty and youth. “Quickly,” Celeste whispered, “I hear Madame’s footsteps outside the door.” 

Later in the story, the valise increases in significance when the antagonist, Madame Marie-Louise, attempts to take it, and thereby increases conflict and develops the plot:

Marie-Louise stood in the shadows by the cot, observing the slave-woman’s body sway in her expression of grief. Alert for the most opportune time, she knew that Cymbee’s outlandish moans would eventually bring Philippe and the others. She would have to act fast. She dropped to her knees and searched the floor under the cot. Her stretched fingertips touched a leather pull with brass clasps. The old woman had pushed it deep against the back wall. Marie-Louise inched her way underneath the cot, leveraging against the iron bedstead to tug the bag forward, but it caught against a raised plank. Footsteps brushed past her toward Celeste and her baby. She heard Philippe’s muffled cry and glanced toward the commotion.

Through the detail of objects, setting, and character interactions, we learn something about the morality, hopes, dreams, and fears of the characters. We see Marie-Louise groveling under her slave’s cot (while her daughter-in-law is dying in childbirth) searching for the valise explicitly hidden from her. We also have some insight into Philippe through his demeanor and actions: his muffled cry and footsteps brushing past his mother towards his wife and child. Perhaps we have learned enough to judge their characters, as well as the plot, and decide if we’ll keep reading.

Now, it’s your turn. Imagine a room where your character spends a lot of time. Perhaps your character spends time in the kitchen where her family gathers during meal preparation or the family room with the large, stone fireplace where she cozy’s up to read her favorite novel. Imagine, for a moment, joining her in that space. Look around and ask yourself (and your character) questions. How does the room make you feel? Do you feel peaceful, excited, or fearful? How does the room and furnishings contribute to your feelings, and why? How does your character feel about this place? Why does she come here? Does she want to be here? Brainstorm to come up with a list of specific items you see in the room, and jot down any emotions these items stir in you. Does your character share your feelings? What emotional or life-attachment does your character have with these objects, with this place? Now, write freely, without restraint, about the strongest, most vivid impression you’ve gained from your character’s environment. 

Vicki

 


If I Were You, and Other Conditions Contrary to Fact

Why is it that otherwise good writers avoid using the subjunctive mood of the verb to be (were)? Perhaps it’s because of confusion over subject, verb, and number agreement, passive constructions, or any number of reasons. I can empathize. When I encounter a sentence with a singular subject attached to the verb were, I have to stop reading and check its accuracy. Chicago Manual of Style defines the subjunctive mood as “expressing an action or state of being not as a reality but as a mental conception, a condition that is doubtful, imagined, desired, conditional or otherwise contrary to fact.” The following examples show the subjunctive mood in three of its (six) contexts. Also be aware that grammar checkers may mark most instances of subjunctive mood for correction, so trust your writing, not grammar checkers.

 

Expressing conditions contrary to fact

A perfect example of the subjunctive mood is expressed in a famous first line of a poem by François Villon, “If I were King and you were Queen.” Anyone living in the fifteenth century when this poem was written knew that, in reality, only those born to royalty became kings and queens, and even few of those. It wasn’t a position just anyone could apply for.

 Later, playwright Justin Huntly McCarthy expanded on Villon’s poetic wish (in a play and movie of the same title as the poem’s first line) in grandiose terms not rooted in the reality of everyday life.

 If I were king--ah love, if I were king! / What tributary nations would I bring / . . . / Beneath your feet what treasures I would fling:-- / The stars should be your pearls upon a string /

 

Expressing suppositions contrary to evidence

M-W Dictionary defines supposition as the “mental act of supposing something to be the case, or ideas that result from supposing, especially as opposed to ideas based on evidence.” In the following example, the singular subject (soldier) takes the “to be” verb’s subjunctive (were):

  • “The fingers of his right hand remained half curled even when empty, as though the soldier were unable to relinquish his sword’s haft.” [Not was.] (The Centurion’s Wife, Bunn, Oke)

Obviously, there’s no evidence to support the supposition that the soldier’s hand was curled around a non-existent sword handle.

Even multi-published fiction writers sometimes fail to use the subjunctive mood. I love Bodie and Brock Thoene’s novels, but the following sentence (if we apply the definition supplied by CMOS) while presenting the Countess’s state of being in “doubtful, imagined, or conditional” terms, fails to use the subjunctive mood:   

  • “Looking at the world with infinite weariness, she pivoted her head slightly, as though she was only vaguely aware of Josie’s presence.” (Twilight of Courage)
  • “Looking at the world with infinite weariness, she pivoted her head slightly, as though she [were] only vaguely aware of Josie’s presence.” [subjunctive mood]
Expressing wishes contrary to reality

Sentences beginning with “I wish that I were able” express a wish that is the opposite of reality or of what the writer believes that he or she can do. 

  •  “I wish that I were able to direct the hearts and minds of all to You and, together with them and for them, love You perfectly in return . . .”—Communion prayer at 2heartsnetwork.org.  

 

More familiar expressions using the subjunctive mood

“As you were, soldier,” said the sergeant.

“Long live the king,” shouted the group.

“Be that as it may,” said Mrs. Thompson, “we will continue with our plans.”

“Would that it were true,” said the poet.

“Be they rich or poor, young or old,” he said.

 

For more on the subjunctive mood, see Garner’s Modern American Usage, CMOS, The Little. Brown Handbook, or Englishclub.com at  http://www.englishclub.com/grammar/verbs-subjunctive.htm

 Vicki McCollum

Blog: www.vickitalleymccollum.blogspot.com/

 (C) 2010

The Basics of Good Dialogue

Published in The Ready Writer E-Zine, by Vicki McCollum, © 2008
Quotation marks are used to punctuate a speaker’s actual dialogue in fiction or to punctuate a direct quote in nonfiction. Speech tags (also known as attribution tags in nonfiction) identify the speaker using speech verbs: he said, Janet yelled, Jack shouted.

Use speaker tags, also known as attribution tags in nonfiction, and separate the tag from the dialogue with a comma:
  • When asked directly, Janet replied, “No way, I’m not going there.” (direct quotation)
  • “No way, I’m not going there,” Janet said. (direct dialogue)
Don’t use quotation marks to punctuate recounted dialogue:

  • Janet said that there’s no way she’s going to go there. (recounting dialogue)
Notice that periods and commas are placed inside quotation marks:

  • “No way, I’m not going there.” (“.”)
  • “No way, I’m not going there,” Janet said. (“,” Janet said.)
Don't use commas with other punctuation:

  • "You aren’t going?,” Jack asked. ("?," Jack asked.) Incorrect.
  • Right: "You aren’t going?” Jack asked.  ("?" Jack asked.) Correct.
Speech or attribution tags may be placed before, in the middle, or after the quote or dialogue, depending on the writer’s desire to pace dialogue or stress sentences.

  • Janet’s husband said, “She never wants to go where I want to go.”
When a speech tag comes before the quote, the comma follows the tag and the speech is placed in quotation marks:

  • "Janet’s problem is that she lacks a sense of adventure,” her husband said.
When the speech tag follows quoted speech, the pronoun attribution isn't capitalized:
  • "Janet’s problem,” Jack said, “is that she lacks a proper sense of adventure.”
When the speech tag is placed in the middle of and interrupting the speech, the quoted speech continues without capitalization. (". . . problem,” Jack said, “is that she…”)

Paragraphs in direct dialogue

Give each speaker his or her own paragraph and indicate when the speaker changes by beginning a new paragraph. Example:

Janet stroked the cat behind its ears and sighed. “I’ve told you before, Jack. I hate ice-hockey. It’s too violent.”

“Since when has violence bothered you?” he asked. “It didn’t bother you when you played professional roller hockey.”

“That’s not fair.” She tossed an angry glare at him. “I played in order to pay your way through medical school, and this is the thanks I get?”

Action Tags

Use action tags to identify a speaker when you don’t want to use “said,” or other speech tags. Jack and Janet continue their conversation with each speaker receiving his or her separate paragraph. For variation, the third sentence uses an action tag; the tag shows Jack in meaningful action, which should move the plot forward, or characterize the speaker in some way.

"You never want to do what I want to do,” Jack said.

Janet said, “Don’t start with me, Jack.”

He opened the door. "Fine! I’ll go without you.”

Avoid adverbs

Adverbs are words that end with an “ly,” such as “angrily, softly, gently.” Instead of adding adverbs, allow the speaker’s words to express his feelings. Adverbs can make dialogue sound overwritten and cartoonish. Example:

"You never want to do what I want to do,” he whined pathetically.

Janet whispered angrily, “Don’t start with me, Jack.”

Opening the door he shouted furiously, "Fine! I’ll go without you.”

Readers can sense tone and emotion by the speaker’s word choice, and if the speaker's words expresses his or her feelings, then adverbs are repetitious.

Now it's your turn:

Read passages of your favorite author's dialogue. Compare how the author handles different character's dialogue. I'll bet they don't sound the same, do they? Just as people don't sound exactly like each other, neither do characters. Their way of speaking is shaped by education, work and social circles, family background, and much more. Absorb good dialogue by reading, or even re-typing, long passages of several authors' dialogue. Then apply what you've learned to your own characters' dialogue.

Vicki
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